Day 9: 365 Days of Motivation for Widows

“Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is the hard part.” –Dave Mustaine

It is easy for others to tell you what you should do. It is so easy for them to say you should move on, that it’s time. It is not easy to actually do it. Moving on comes with fear. You wonder what life will be like without your spouse. Those firsts hurt, every single one. The biggest fear is moving on and leaving your spouse. The fear of losing the memories. Worrying about forgetting his/her face, their smell, the sound of their voice, and even their dreams.

I usually don’t use the term ‘moving on’ because I don’t like what it infers. It infers that you are going forward alone and leave your spouse in the past. I like to say we ‘move forward’. I use that term because if I am being honest, I have never, and won’t ever forget my husband. I think I owe that to him and my children. I had to accept he was dead. I had to redefine how he fit in my life, but he is with me. I feel it. He is watching over the kids. I know it. He is my history and his death the reason I am who I am doing what I am doing today. We talk about him when something reminds us of him, or when my current husband has a question, or for no reason at all.

You do have to leave behind your life together, the life you had planned, but you do not have to leave behind your spouse. That doesn’t make it easy, nothing will make it easy. It will still be one of the hardest things you have ever done. You can do it, you can find the balance.

About Sara

My name is Sara and I am a woman with a history and a future. I am a mother of 5 and a wife to an amazing man. Being a teen mother and a widow in my mid-twenties has given me plenty of storms to weather. Writing has always been my solace, it's also a passion and a talent. Through my writing I hope to help others weather their storms and create my own path to my dreams.
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4 Responses to Day 9: 365 Days of Motivation for Widows

  1. just lynne says:

    A first I was going to type that I was not there, that I could not do this.. But then I thought about it, I am doing it. After he died every decision I made was with him in mind; I no longer do that. I made changes, I colored my hair ( what is it widows and their hair?). The thing that made feel the most secure was that he was laying right next to me, At night I still reach out for him. I know he will always take of my glasses if I fell asleep with them on, Now in some mornings I am half blind looking for them.
    I will no longer use the term “Moving on” because he is a part of me So he will always be with me. BUT like you stated I can move forward and leave behind the life we had, Because the sad fact is…. I have no other choice.

    Like

    • Sara says:

      I am often asked how I got through it all. My answer, much like yours–I had no choice. I write this to give grieving people the benefit of the future. I have been there and made it back to happiness. It isn’t easy, but everyone can do it. I would love to help them. I hope this helped you.
      Thanks for leaving a comment.
      Sara

      Like

  2. dswidow says:

    Well put, and very true.

    Like

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