Day 45: 365 Days of Motivation for Widows

Feel the fear and do it anyway.   –Susan Jeffers

This storm is worthy of fear and fear can paralyze even the best of us. Fear can build a wall, forcing us away from the places and people we love most. Afraid of what people will say behind our backs. Fear of the stares we get in public. Afraid of breaking down walking into church by ourselves or dropping our children at school. Every where you turn, this new life smacks you in the face with fear and anxiety.

I tell people all the time: this is your journey. I mean that–it is. I can tell you, though, it is so easy to let that fear hold you hostage. It will bound you to your bed and keep you from food, water, and people who love you.  By all means, take time to retreat to your bed.

Some of the most wonderful talks, cuddles, and memories lie with you in that bed. Soak it all in. When you start to feel like you can’t do it anymore–when you feel like life is swallowing you–you have to get up, no matter how terrifying.

No one expects you to jump up with smiles and energy to conquer the world. In fact, that first day, you might not take it past your shower–maybe you will reach your kitchen table. It’s a step. It will feel good. You will tire and you probably will want to crawl into bed again–that’s okay. Day after day you will get out of bed and face your fears and every day it will get easier to do.

 

About Sara

My name is Sara and I am a woman with a history and a future. I am a mother of 5 and a wife to an amazing man. Being a teen mother and a widow in my mid-twenties has given me plenty of storms to weather. Writing has always been my solace, it's also a passion and a talent. Through my writing I hope to help others weather their storms and create my own path to my dreams.
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2 Responses to Day 45: 365 Days of Motivation for Widows

  1. Lois says:

    Thank you Sara. Today is the grand opening of a snazzy new grocery store in our area. My husband and I loved going there on weekends to sample all the freebies and bring home some yummy baked goods for Sunday morning breakfast. I should be there with him today. But instead I have an appointment with a store who makes grave markers. I don’t even know why I am sharing this with you. Maybe because somehow each day I read a new post from you, it gives me encouragement to face the day, and I want you to know how much I appreciate what you do for us.

    • Sara says:

      Lois,
      I will be thinking of you today as you take on this unpleasant (and that’s the nice word for it) task.

      For me, doing it was torture, but it felt good to honor him again.

      I hope the day comes for you, and I think it will, when you can visit that store and use it as a way to feel close to him. Now everything is just bitter, but a day will come when you can visit his memory with smiles instead of tears. Just keep trudging through the muck.

      I started this blog with one reason in mind: so that no other widow had to do it alone because that’s how I felt. I had so many questions and no one to give me answers. It was before the internet as we know it today and my friends couldn’t help. I couldn’t reach out to family because they hurt as much as me and none of them were widows anyway. So to know that at least part of my mission is being accomplished makes me feel blessed beyond measure. I actually plan on putting these motivations in a book one day to share it on a bigger stage. I have found no matter the circumstance of our new status, many of the feelings and experiences are similar.

      Keep sharing. I enjoy listening and can relate to what you are going through. If you haven’t found my story yet, and would like to know, you can find it by searching for ‘the hardest day’ in the blog search bar. I will warn you, it is tough to get through for people who are NOT grieving. I just mention it because then you will know where I came from.

      Today is a difficult day, as the day winds down, take a moment to be good to yourself–you deserve it.

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